This is a topic very close to my heart for reasons more than one.
Before I got married, I had always thought of money as a mere necessity of life. I do not deny the need of money in fulfilling every day-to-day need but at the same time, if one aims to base every relationship we get into (the ones we are not born with) in terms of our financial prospects, it is something I strongly stand against.
Before I share with you how my life changed from being a not-much-interested-in-money person to a person thinking about it 24*7*365, I’d like to hear your views on :
How important is financial security in a marriage?
Isn’t love enough for the success of any relationship (including marriage)?
Is it wrong to marry to attain financial security? If yes, is it wise to end the relationship if financial insecurity prevails?
What do you think?
The Era I Lived In 
1. How important is financial security in a marriage?
Very and more so for the woman. Experts say a woman should always have her own house…just in case she has to walk out of a marriage…
2. Isn’t love enough for the success of any relationship (including marriage)?
Love is paramount. Money makes life smoother.
3. Is it wrong to marry to attain financial security? If yes, is it wise to end the relationship is financial security prevails?
I think one should marry only on the basis of love. Of course, we should be wise enough to fall in love with the people we can see a future with–and that entails emotional and financial stability.
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i do think financial security is a must , todays world has changed a lot .. LOVE well thats a big word but it has lost its meaning .. what is love does anyone know..
One needs to be earning and standing on their own feet for sure .. before they get into a relation thats what i think .. yeah i am being a critic and an idiot but life’s experience teaches a lot of things .. and Love definitely is a word that is used too much ..
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Hi,
I am a first time commenter here. For me, financial security is very important and I am glad I have always kept my finances separate from my husband’s especially given my marriage is going steadily downhill!
NN
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I think there are two related but separate issues here.
One can talk about the financial security of the MARRIAGE – whether or not the pooled resources of the protagonists are sufficient to sustain a lifestyle they’re comfortable with, and tide over any emergencies.
One can also talk about the financial security of the PROTAGONISTS in the marriage – whether or not their individual financial resources are enough to generate a livable lifestyle for them, and to allow them to leave if they so wish.
How important either of those is depends on the type of marriage one is looking at.
In a conventional single-income marriage with split gender roles, individual financial security is pretty meaningless since one partner isn’t earning at all. What’s important is that the earning member’s income be enough for the family to live well.
In more equitable, dual-income marriages, the second factor often becomes much more important and the first one becomes a kind of function of the second.
The thing is that there are really no one-size-fits-all solutions here. Every relationship tends to evolve its own power sharing dynamic as well as its own financial dynamics.
I’d personally say that it is extremely important to be financially secure BEFORE entering a marriage. Unless you are happy being a doormat, it is in general a VERY bad idea to marry someone for their money, just as it is a bad idea to rush into marriage before taking the time to complete your education, get employed, and settle down in your career a bit. If you rely on someone else for every little penny, you really are inviting abuse.
This is one reason I get so riled up when women tell me that they’re not “career-minded” and just want a good marriage. It doesn’t work that way. You HAVE to be a bit career minded if you want some kind of safety net in life.
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I have written something similar in my blog. Please check out http://tanuspeaksonline.blogspot.com/2011/12/is-finding-right-partner-all-about.html
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Hi ME,
I came here via your comment, and I have been reading your blog, chronologically, since morning. Before I proceed, I wanted to actually share my thoughts too, though this is a 4 year old post! I want to comment before I go ahead and read more so I am not biased.
How important is financial security in a marriage?
Financial security is extremely important in life in general. And since marriage is the beginning of another way of life, financial security I assume is important here as well, by default. We all have needs, and dreams, and plans around the life we want and want to give our family. All of it comes through finances, so yes, it is important.
Isn’t love enough for the success of any relationship (including marriage)?
Love is the most important thing. Some relationships are obligatory too. But love is the basis. But no, it is not enough. Why? Because when you miss out on the material needs, you tend to get so stressed that you look away from love. That whole thing around, ‘tumhare saath daal roti khake reh sakte hain’ is an idealistic situation. It might happen, and love will save you, but it is necessary you try to fix it, together.
Is it wrong to marry to attain financial security? If yes, is it wise to end the relationship if financial insecurity prevails?
Yes, it is wrong to marry to attain financial security. It is necessary to be financially secure yourself. However, to have it as one of the aspects you consider might not be wrong.
What is financial insecurity? Between me and The Dude, we have our own sources of income though all our money is pooled. So if insecurity means that he blindly invests all that WE have in something that is risky, it is wrong, it might get us on streets. If he discusses it, and does it, it’s ok. If he does it, while ensuring that we will live well with what remains, if all goes downhill, it’s ok again.
I dont know the context behind this, but I just wanted to share my thoughts. It’s been some experience reading your blog so far. You have a new follower 🙂
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Dear DI,
Welcome to my space.
Thank you for taking time to read my blog in chronological order, it’ll help you understand my life in entirety.
I couldn’t agree more on your points of view and emphasise the fact that financial independence & security are a must for a happy life.
Looking forward to hear more from you 😊
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i think to marry early without having any good finance is just like calling trouble towards you but most important that is love there should be a love between two people to live together and to share everything with each other.In every relation there should be a love,trust,money,loyalty,and careness towards eachother tthen only the marriage will be perfect.
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