I have been thinking about this from a while. The thought process triggered when I read at a lot of places how family and society pressurize divorcee girls to go in for a second chance at getting married. Among countless issues to consider on this sensitive issue (for it is very different from getting married the first time) I have had a serious concern bothering me. Background check.
I totally understand a background check is a must before engaging in any kind of relationship (both personal as well as professional). But it comes with its due limitations. I mean one can approach common friends, talk to neighbors and if one can approach other common links to satisfy their queries before moving ahead. I personally have a messed up marriage impending divorce and from what I have seen personally, things look a little dubious as far background checking goes.
I’ll quote an example from my personal case to make my point clear. In my case, my soon-to-be-ex in-laws are trying every excuse under the sun to hide that this mess (the marriage on the verge of a divorce) exists. For those who have had the privilege of proximity to raise serious concerns, they(my in-laws) are answering the queries in a way to pose that their son (my husband) is tired of the way his wife behaves/or has a crazy family (and the like) but still is such a compassionate, loving person that he is lovingly waiting for his wife and child to return. How shattered my husband is by my indifferent behavior and the like just to arouse sympathy for himself and his family.
Having said that, one day when we’ll finally be divorced, I won’t be surprised if my husband tries to get married again. Find another goose that lays golden eggs. In that case my point of worry is, how can the family of a divorcee girl (and even a boy for that matter) come to find out the real reason why the boy/girl in question had moved out of the previous marriage?
I am implying to the real cause of separation. Whom do you believe and who do you ask to confirm that the person whom you/your dear one is going to marry a second time is the safe (I am not using the term right because for that there is no fixed criteria) match? I am keeping the possibility of prejudiced replies from the previous partners’ relatives if approached to seek answers about the reason of separation.
What do you think?
The song on my mind: