This February

I am a die-hard romantic. If given a choice to pick a genre of books or even movies for that matter, romance would always top my choice besides humor. After the sequence of events in the past one year, I was mentally prepared to accept my passion for romance and my undying faith in love to die-down. My personal findings have been quite different.

Having said about my faith in love, I never eyed Valentine’s day in particular to hold any significance until some years back. What actually prompted me to even remember the existence of this day wasn’t the event of my falling in love. Instead, I actually got married on the Valentine’s day, for my husband thought, what better day in February than this to mark the beginning of a life-long romance.

The fact that has amazed me to no limits is, I actually have no hard feelings or no hurt pent-up in my system after the betrayal I suffered in my marriage. I do not deny the pain and suffering all this has brought my way. But, on thorough analysis, I still haven’t stopped believing in love and neither have I gone bitter about the institution of marriage. At the onset, I had feared turning into a fanatic who’ll curse anyone who would even mention a love song or tears welling up in my eyes as the month of February will dawn when the whole world tries to transform itself to a shade of red or pink.

Nothing of that sorts actually happened. In fact, I have been pretty much aware of the approach of Valentine’s Day and actually enjoyed shopping for Pari amidst the cute items being sold for the same. The sun still rises with a message of hope for me and I still believe in the magic of love. This has led me to one important conclusion.

“We are and we become what we want to be. No-one can actually transform us magically, until we want that change in us to happen.”~My Era

I wanted to stay as normal I could in the prevalent circumstances for the sake of my daughter. I have faced several tormenting moments battling out the negative thoughts that were a frequent occurring in the past. Self-analysis and talking our fears out is therapeutic. I can feel the healing process taking effect on me. It did take a lot of effort on my part, but the results are pretty promising.

I don’t gift myself any idle moment in the 24 hours I am blessed with. Be it blogging, talking to family and friends, playing and caring for my little daughter, doing house-hold chores or even reading books, I keep myself occupied. Not trying to hide the hurt and pain in the deep closets of my mind and dark dungeons of my heart has definitely helped me healing at a faster pace.

My marriage hasn’t yet been called off. There are still many people who know me and my husband very well (but aren’t aware of our current circumstances) and are going to be wishing us on our marriage anniversary. I am not scared of that day anymore. Neither am I thinking of ways of answering any of those people. I won’t let anything under the sun or the starry skies disturb the peace I have earned with so much labor.

As far love, I still have faith in it; for I have the biggest gift love could give anyone, a beautiful daughter to remind me  what this month of February eventually brought in my life.

The Song on my mind:

59 thoughts on “This February

  1. You inspire me with all the positive energy. I want all the happiness in world for you and Pari.
    Hey is this Pari’s first Valentine’s Day? I’m sure you’ll take many pictures of her, but get a picture of you and her together on that day to celebrate life long love 🙂

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  2. During college, the whole class was supposed to come in Green or Red depending on their status (Available/ Engaged) on valentines day. I went in light blue shirt and light blue jeans (can you imagine that combination 😛 ) to express my contempt for the day. I have never been a fan of forcing people to express their affection through systems like ‘love’ or ‘marriage’.

    Destination Infinity

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  3. You are a better human being then me for sure when you say that you still beleive in love. I don’t as that is one emotion that has ruined a lot of things for me. Anyway other than that everything is great about Feb.

    I am happy to read that you have not let things effect you.

    Take care.

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    1. I hope things change for better for you Bikram. It isn’t about being a better human being, it’s something I desperately wanted to do for a big reason (will come up with all details in a post soon).
      Happy February 😀

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  4. Era…It takes a lot to accept certain things that cannot be changed…and going on with life with a positive attitude.
    U have struggled a lot….but these struggles have nade you strong….I can see that in the way u write.
    “We are and we become what we want to be. No-one can actually transform us magically, until we want that change in us to happen.”….perfect, we have to take the call.

    HUGS to u my dear…take care….How is Pari??? I liked her show off…with those cute bangles:) Girls are darlings:*
    Muahhhhhh to her(err…m coughing…so better no kissi)
    Hugs…hugs….and more hugs:)

    Gayu

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  5. 🙂 Am sure this would be a piece of inspiration to many… and how do you know that’s one of my fave songs? 😉 The lyrics of some of the classics actually hold so much essence…sometimes beyond my imagination…

    Thanks for sharing this song!!

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  6. There’s so much to learn from you MyEra! I salute to whatever positive attitude you have shown. And loved this quote –
    “We are and we become what we want to be. No-one can actually transform us magically, until we want that change in us to happen”.

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  7. It is so very hard to stay positive after all you have gone through but you continue to stay that way. But what is amazing is that you constantly work on getting rid of the bitterness. Hats of to!

    Little Pari will always have a happy mom and grow up to be a sweet pari because of that. What more can a mom as for?

    Hugs Era!

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  8. Wow.. We share the same wedding date.. So, same pinch!! (this time I am first 😛 )

    I really love your approach towards life. “We are and we become what we want to be. No-one can actually transform us magically, until we want that change in us to happen” – so true….

    Hugs to you!!

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  9. I soo… loved that quote. Hugs to you. You are an inspiration for sure. Admire your positive approach towards life, and the credit has to be shared with Pari as well. She is your strength, isn’t she? Lotttsa love coming your way.

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  10. Hugs to you my dear. I love your positive spirit. You are a very strong lady and more importantly a good human being. That is why you have no hard feelings.
    Pari is lucky to have a mom like you 🙂

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  11. I admire the kind of courage with which you are moving on. It takes a lot to not let things affect….and particularly to CHOOSE not to let them affect you, which you have. And that’s half the job done.
    God bless you and your little bundle of joy.

    Personally I’ve never felt Valentine’s Day is really relevant to any couple…it’s just a celebration around the world, it doesn’t mean your own personal love story is connected to it. You may or may not celebrate it…. in my case, I don’t believe in it so I don’t.

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  12. Rock solid, arent you! Thats the way to be. I feel like kicking people when they say – oh, you had a break up, how will you ever trust in love again. All BS!

    Kick up, drink your ice tea and feel on top of the world. Much much love to both of you!

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  13. I can’t tell you how happy I am to read this post. I have seen so many people so embittered by their circumstances in life that they are hardly able to lead a normal life, much less give a normal life to their children. I am so happy that you have been maintaining a positive mindframe in spite of your circumstances and that you have not lost hope in magic or love. 🙂 I love that spirit of yours! It is so important not to give up on love, and yet that is what most people end up doing. 😦

    I love that song too!

    Kudos to you! May you and Pari have a beautiful Valentine’s Day! 🙂

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  14. V-day is not just for romantic love between couples, but love in all of its forms. 🙂
    And hats off to you for your positive and strong spirit. Hang in there sweetheart and you have always got our support.

    Lots of love and huge HUGS!!!!!!

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  15. hey u know what ..after u left that comment on my blog , i came to urs and started reading each post. I was thinking a lot about u over the weekend. ur blog has such deep thoughts.
    hats off to u my dear. I am glad you are sucha strong woman and an inspiration for many others

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  16. This is a beautiful post, Era. You are very strong woman. Three cheers to you! 🙂
    Experiences in our lives makes us or break us. It is upto us to decide/rather choose whether we want them to make us or break us.
    And, you have chosen to let the experience make you strong. So, three cheers again! 🙂
    I am sure there is more in life than the pain alone. We have to open our eyes to the intricate beauties of life.
    Hugs to you and Pari for this Valentine’s day.
    Perhaps, you both can go out for a nice dinner outside and celebrate :).

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  17. You are so so amazing! I don’t know if I would be half as positive, if I had gone through everything you have.. Makes me really introspect when I read a post like this! Hugs! And thank you for this post.

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