Till date I have succeeded in resisting the temptation to swear in words of all forms. I mean both in spoken words and in writing. It’s not that I never get frustrated, agitated or hurt. Neither am I too weak to retort back to express my anger. Call it my conditioning or flatter me by saying I have strong self-control, but the fact behind it all is I strongly dislike swear words as much as I dislike people who fail to find better expression of their emotions in vocabulary (in any language) than using swear words at the drop of a hat.
I am not trying to create a hate post condemning people who swear nor am I the general of the army of people assigned with the task of trying to shoot people who use profanity in actions or words. I am just trying to build the aura of how much self-control I have had in the many decades I have walked the soil of this planet.
This sanity and saintly calm composure is starting to lose ground. The events of the past few months have started showing their toll on my personality. Though I still credit myself for being the girl with immense strength to have never cussed my soon-to-be-a-past husband despite him crossing many lines (about which I’ll talk in a separate post).
The events of the past week have shaken my determination as much it has shattered my self-esteem for loving someone who could stoop down to such limits for the sake of the pettiest asset man has ever known, money. For me writing and cooking are cathartic, but today they too are failing to make me feel any better. I tried getting involved in a complex recipe to get the hurt and rage out of my mind. The outcome was very delicious (recipe coming soon) but it didn’t make me feel good.
At this moment, I want to pick up my mobile and do what you can see in the video below:
*Disclaimer: The video contains profanities, please be careful about your surroundings before playing it.
Though I have not done anything similar yet and I know myself to be sure about not doing it any day soon. I believe in defeating people by actions not words. I am of the opinion that wars are won by brains than valor and I am determined to do just that.
I am actually feeling heaps better by writing about it. By the time I’ve reached this line, I can feel my opinion change (though very slightly) about the people who swear at times they want to convey their emotions, strongly!