Last night after putting Pari to sleep, I was trying to concentrate on the book I have on my side-table lying unread from a long time. My eyes were trying to make sense of the words I was reading, but my mind was busy considering the pros and cons of some distant facts. It was around 11 p.m. and there was no sign of sleep. I decided to let my mind relax in classic melodies FM plays at that hour.
Tuning the radio on my mobile I busied myself skim through a few recipes on the Internet. From melodies to gossip the radio shuffled to play some interesting songs when the topic of discussion shifted to tragedies in Bollywood. The RJ was talking about the life of the celebrated actress Shashi Kala. Sharing her life’s tragedies at a point he mentioned, that her life took a tangential turn when misguided by certain people in her life, she divorced her husband. The RJ continued about how she traveled far and wide in search of peace but she wasn’t successful.
My mind stuck to those lines. The radio continued playing several delightful hits but I was busy considering the rare possibility, what if I too wasn’t seeing the facts leading to my impending divorce in proper light? What if I have been prejudiced and biased in my opinions? It was a momentary thought that lasted not longer than a couple of seconds, but it had the power to make me restless.
I turned off the radio and started analyzing the facts I have assessed at least a zillion times already. Lost in my thoughts, in no time I dosed off only to be woken up at my usual wake up time. Surprisingly, the thought hadn’t left its clutches from my sub-conscious mind despite a peaceful, dreamless sleep of six hours. I was busy winding up the morning chores while Pari was still asleep just when my mobile buzzed.
It was quite early for a phone-call, though the world was already at work by then. It was an unknown number that clearly told me it was an international call. At first I hesitated, I thought of letting the mobile buzz and the call go unattended. I wasn’t sure who the caller was so I decided to take a chance. It was from someone, we (me and my husband) had known for years, but hadn’t been in touch with for a very long time (after we moved to a different city). A call from such a person out of the blue, on my mobile clearly hinted who she could have got the number from.
For once, I decided to let the conversation flow at its own pace. I was determined not to pour in any personal details and not bother giving any clarifications no-matter what was thrown at me. In hardly thirty seconds the caller clarified she’d called to hear my side of the story. I bit my tongue to resist snapping back with anything corny like, ‘ it isn’t a Bollywood drama that you want to hear a juicy story.’ I successfully resisted the temptation and talked in a matter-of- fact tone.
The conversation lasted long, but at the end of it, instead of feeling disgusted, angry or frustrated I was feeling lot happier than I did when I woke up this morning. The reason of my calmer, happier self was something very unrelated to the caller for she is one of those women who can make an hour-long international call only to seek ingredients for her kitty party gossip (yes it happens overseas too). The information she received today should help her talk non-stop for at least a couple of months in a row.
It isn’t about her, but it is about what she told me. She gently wiped the cobwebs of doubt that I had spun last night. She unknowingly told me loud and clear that whatever I had been doubting to be my husband’s intentions were indeed a reality. Her phone-call was meant to convince me to get a few unfinished chores done for my husband. She didn’t mention them directly because of sheer ignorance of what they actually were.
This was one of those rare conversations when my life was being dissected mercilessly in hope of seeking juicy gossip but I was still smiling for the caller was actually being used as a pawn by my shrewd husband.
Life has its ways of signalling, giving us answers to our questions. All we need is to keep our eyes wide open, for many times these subtle hints come from people we least expect.
The song on my mind: