Comments on my recent post, Beaten resurfaced a thought that’s been lingering in my mind for a while.
In Indian society, social conditioning etches its beliefs and codes of conduct in our systems right from the day we are born. It is highly unlikely to escape this conditioning from touching our lives in one form or the other (if not completely enveloping our individuality). More so if you are a girl.
Though boys in our society can’t be called as untouched by this conditioning process for had this been the case, our society would have seen an increasing number of incidences where men stood by the females in times of societal pressure breaking them (females) down. Unfortunately that is not the case.
The point I wish to make is, when we raise (or call it mould) our daughters with values that the sole aim of their lives is to become good daughters-in-law and a good wife and the only dream parents have is to see their daughters married in good families, how can we even doubt their intentions in trying to jump out of marriage without solid grounds?
In the past week, we all read about the bill that shall help women seek divorce easily (than before). The ongoing debate has been, this will empower women to the point that they will try to opt for divorce for every small issue or misunderstanding in marriage.
What I have been wondering reading these hypothetical arguments with the knowledge of the true face of traditional Indian beliefs is, why would someone in their right mind want to leave a home or a relationship that makes her happy, content and is an important part of her life?
How can we forget that a girl leaves her parents who’d made her all she stands to be, her home where she grew up; to be a part of the family and the man whom she agreed to live with after getting married. In no way, will a girl ever think of stepping out of such a strong bond unless there was something seriously wrong.
The day we all will try to put ourselves in her shoes and see how big and difficult a decision it is for her we’ll begin to realize why she needs to be given a chance to explain her side of the story. The day we will acknowledge the stigma the society (which is made up of people like us) makes a woman daring to step out of the wedlock suffer, we will understand no person by choice wants to be shamed and called names unless it has grave consequences. We need to think rationally before jumping on to judging people who step out of their marriages.
It is as simple as, who would in their right mind want to jump in the cage of a hungry lion? No one
Same way, no one gets out of a marriage because of something frivolous.
Same way, no one will leave a loving family and a caring husband only for the sake of seeking pleasure or in the name of being liberated. We all are social beings, who believe in family life and the importance it holds in the life of every individual. We all love being a part of a supportive family, but, when that dream of being loved, cared and supported changes to a real life nightmare of abuse, pain, oppression and hatred does one think of leaving their home.
The song on my mind: Ye tera ghar ye mera ghar ~ Sath Sath