I am very nervous. I can feel my feet go cold, my will go shaky with a rhythmic rise and fall of pangs of anxiety. The present is blurred in tears and future fogged with endless worries.
With my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer, our life and plans for a secure future have fallen apart like wind blowing away a castle of playing cards. We seem to be caught in a whirlpool of trials and tribulations of life. Regaining balance isn’t going to be easy this time.
Just when I had started living life on a normal note, heard the first dime give my bank account a ring, dared to dream again spending blood and sweat trying to make Pari’s future secure all seems to be gone for a toss.
The sleepless nights, sinking feeling filling up my heart seems to have sucked out all my optimism. I am stuck in a pang of never ending depression, where juggling my priorities of playing a mother and taking care of my mother are crushing me brutally. I am not sure if life will ever be the rosy, optimistic ride ever again, though there is one thing I have relearned.
“There is never a tomorrow. Live today to the fullest.”