Hello Autumn

hello-autumn

Autumn isn’t my favorite season,

Yet I love it for a reason,

I was born in this fiery bloom,

That sparks the leaves with feisty plume.

The air has the nip,

The temperatures begin to dip,

There’s more to autumn than what meets the eye,

I can hear its ‘Let Go’ cry.

The fall of leaves,

Unburdening trees,

Inspire me to relinquish,

Be generous, bid adieu to anguish.

Share, care and dare,

Let your soul go bare,

Believe life is threadbare,

Celebrate every moment while we’re still here.

Autumn isn’t the fall of life,

It’s the fuel of life,

It enacts impermanence,

To inspire diligence,

In all we do,

To make our dreams come true.

Let go of all vices,

That’s splattering sin on life’s slices,

Behold your power, hold your goodwill,

Grow within in months of chill,

To sprout,

To bloom,

To gift your life new beginnings.

This pursuit is precious,

This transition is tedious,

But is imperative,

To realize we’re all but a universe’s derivative.

This autumn,

Celebrate growth,

Sow generosity,

Sprinkle gratitude,

Practice reverence,

And

Prepare to connect with your core.

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The song on mind: Mera kuch samaan  ~ Ijazat

The Midnight Binge

I have never been a night owl. Though the past 5 years have been different. Less cause of work and more cause of worry I have been up at the wee hours of the night woken up hardly minutes after I tucked myself in bed for a beauty sleep. Yes, it was a living nightmare.

No amount of zoning off, reading, chanting the mantras that usually calm me, not even Twitter (where I’m perched most part of my day) would succeed in soothing me. I would turn off the light in hope that finally I’d find peace and would tire myself enough staring at the false ceiling in my room to fall asleep. Only to be proved wrong time after time.

That was when, one rather warm summer night, I plugged my headphones into my iPad and tuned to YouTube. Browsing for new movie trailers and following the suggestions that popped up to keep my mind as dormant as I possibly could. After a couple of trailers and songs, I spotted episodes of Koffee With Karan from the older seasons. The first video I watched, was the video of the rapid-fire round featuring Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol and Rani Mukherjee that I remembered having watched closely when the show was aired on TV (strangely I couldn’t find the video today).

Being a Shah Rukh Khan (SRK) fan girl, that I still am, I browsed to find episodes featuring him through the seasons. In no time, SRK’s razor-sharp wit, ability to unabashedly poke fun at himself, being pompous sometimes, getting philosophical in ways that made perfect sense, his charismatic charm and how he comes across as a well-read man relaxed me like I had not felt in a long time.

srk-in-koffee-with-karan-season-5
I love the new yellow coffee mugs of season 5 (as against the red ones of prior seasons) of  Koffee With Karan

I had started watching around midnight and the next time I looked at the computer clock, it was 3:45 a.m. And I had not noted the time fly, held by the spell of Bollywood gossip or perhaps by SRK’s charm.

At this point, I would like to mention that though am not much of a Karan Johar movie fan, am a huge fan of his wit, wisdom and the habit of overusing the word ‘conjecture‘ in everything he says.

I often take pride in saying that gossips bore me to death and I can’t gossip even if I were paid to do so. However, Koffee With Karan is the only exception to this rule. The show is loaded with filmy gossip, cheesy lines and lot of drama, yet it gives me a  high just like a midnight dessert binge gives a sugar high to those who crave at the wee hours.

Over the past few years, I have watched old seasons of Koffee With Karan so many times that by now I know all episodes by heart. It is quite like raiding the refrigerator every 10 minutes hoping the scene inside would have changed, only to discover otherwise. But, still the calming, happy feeling that envelopes me is still the very same I had felt the first night I had watched it on YouTube.

Tonight while preparing dinner, my mind was racing in all possible directions wondering what to base my today’s NaBloPoMo post on. That’s when I recalled that season 5 of Koffee With Karan goes on air today and the premiere episode shall feature SRK. I could immediately sense myself motor through the chores, get everything set and ready for Monday and be totally free to watch the show at peace.

And that’s exactly what I did tonight. Savor my favorite midnight binge dessert three hours early, yet feel the same euphoric, happy feeling like I do at those unearthly hours.

Ironically though, I have never been patient enough to watch all episodes of the show while the season is on air. But I do watch them all when I really need to halt the train of thoughts and break free from the monotony of life.

It’s highly unusual but maybe my mind meditates with a generous dose of the forbidden fruit. The  Bollywood Gossip.

And you, my dear reader now know a secret, I have held close to my heart for years.

The song on my mind: Raat baaki, baat baaki ~ Namak Halal 

In pursuit of the purpose of my life

I spent the first 16 years of my life oblivious to the fact that I needed to have a purpose to guide me where I ought to go in life.

At 25 years, when I was married and settled in a foreign land, one fine evening, I sat gazing at the blazing sky analyzing the fire within my heart. I could feel its presence, I was aware of my ambition to lead an inspired life but was clueless about how to make it happen.

As is said that we become who we spend our life with, what we read and what we believe in.

Somehow, I had misinterpreted this fact to mean that I am better off cutting ties from the people who had a negative impact on my psyche. At that point in time, it felt like the best or rather the most convenient thing to do.

But life doesn’t pay heed to our interpretations.

Life moves on at its decided pace, in the direction it wishes to, leaving a lot of room for surprises and experiences.

I can vividly remember the evening (hardly a fortnight before my life took a dramatic turn) when I was feeling pretty confident about having finally figured out where I wanted to be in my life, ten years down the line.

Have you been in pursuit of the purpose of your life? Have you been mindfully trying to connect your soul with the universe? I too have been. Read my article to get an insight into my takeaways from this insightful journey so far. #mindfulness #purposeoflife #spirituality #theerailivedin #reflection #quotes

Little did I know that all my planning was futile and I was destined to go South and not East.

Though it took me 6 long years from that day to figure this out. But in the years gone by, I was kept amused by the fact that though my ambitions and expectations of life have undergone a sea change, one thing is consistent.

Every negative person or situation that I had tried to avoid, resurfaced with a vengeance.

Every change that I secretly wished for, became all the more relevant in my new life.

Leaving me with no other option but to face each hurdle and fight with zeal if I wished to survive my new life.

If you have read my blog from the start, you’d be well aware of my struggles, failures, frustrations and everything part of my life today.

Though I still can’t claim to know the purpose of my life, but having come thus far, I am confident that I am beginning to understand that I can’t hope to know it anytime soon till I develop a thick skin and a deaf ear to every possible negativity that constantly aims to drag me down.

I am in a better position than I was at the start of this year, blessed with a clearer vision than what I had six months from today. That’s quite an achievement in itself and enough to keep me going.

My takeaways from the journey of finding the true purpose of my life:

  1. Life allows us no escape. Whatever we leave undone, we will have to finish before life allows us to move ahead.
  2. Closures are important at every point in life. They are the only ways to prevent history from repeating itself.
  3. Being honest with ourselves is vital. It is the first step to discovering the true purpose of our lives. As long as we keep lying to ourselves and dread being confronted by our conscience, we are simply breathing but not living the life we are born to lead.
  4. Live every moment to the fullest. It just might be your last chance to do what you really enjoy but aren’t destined to have forever.
  5. The true purpose of our lives connects us with our soul and the universe in a mystic way.

Whether or not we realize it or are able to connect it this way.

Irrespective of how big or small we perceive our purpose to be, but it has a way of making us feel connected with powers governing the universe.

I might be lost chasing a mirage or might actually be on a track designed to lead me to the purpose of my life. I can’t say for sure.

But, delving deep, deconstructing my life and reflecting on it from different angles has made me feel better connected with myself and the universe.

It is a peaceful place to be in.

Are you aware of the purpose of your life? 

The song on my mind: Tum pukar lo, tumhara intezaar hai ~ Khamoshi