Okay

I have been wanting to start this from a long time, but my preoccupied mind chose to postpone it like many other things I often do. When the hurt, pain and tears began overflowing, my heart knew, I had to try this highly recommended route. The path of writing down what all I am grateful for in my life.

I knew it was a time-tested recipe to calm frayed nerves, see life more objectively, but somehow I just couldn’t get myself to doing it. At the start of this week, I resolved to start taking out fifteen minutes daily to scribble a short blog-post to get into writing regularly, but that didn’t materialize either.

Today, something happened that changed the scene and here I am typing away like I got a deadline to chase. I have been (on and off) writing about a few of the issues I have been failingly trying to address, despite some success here and there, my mind is more of a mess than anything.

In the past month or so, the pain from the feeling of heading nowhere in life had risen so much that though life was racing past, I felt as if it was not me who was living it. What pinched me hard was the way things weren’t as fun and happy as I’d love with my child. Things have been pretty demanding and rough with me failing to find a relief, let alone a solution to end this chaos.

There have been occasions when I saw myself behaving like a paranoid mum, but couldn’t see a way to handle my child in a different way. All this has been pressing hard on the vasopressor centres of my brain. The unrest has been unbearable. I’d stay worried, stressed, agitated all day. Playing around with positivity, meditation and motivation but nothing working.

Finally, yesterday, I decided upon reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I had been putting it off ( like many other tragedy stories) since forever. I have no clue what made me add the book to my cart and stranger still, what made me stop short of making a payment and ordering it. Yet again.

Today evening, the movie based on the book premiered on TV and I in an odd ( not something I usually do) way browsed through the movie channels hardly a minute before the movie started.

I am not going to talk about the book or the movie, but how it changed my life in two hours. The Fault In Our Stars made me see why I need to be grateful in my day-to-day life. The movie made me see how trivial are the issues I’ve been battling as if they were monsters. There is so much more pain and suffering in the lives around us. Though, it doesn’t change the fact that each and every story is unique as are we and our ways of coping with the pain in our lives. But, when inspiration can be drawn from the battles being fought by others, let’s use it.

I feel, I’ve now got the needed motivation to see the sunny side of my life. I am now clear about where all I was wrong, stressing over things that are not in my control.

Life has a way to ensure, we keep going by dropping hints, inspiration and even signboards to see we take the paths we’re destined to. But, the good news is, life loves us to keep going. Keep living, fighting with all our might, winning in our micro and macro battles on a daily basis.

Please be prepared to read many more of these mis-constructed posts because I am working hard to beat all odds that have been keeping me off blogging.

Writing is my prescription and my blog is the medicine. I’m not going to avoid this space any longer.

P.S.- The title of the post is a famous line from The Fault In Our Stars.
This post was written last night but I dozed off without publishing it.

The song on my mind: Simple As This ~ Jake Bugg

4 thoughts on “Okay

  1. keep writing. it’s the way out!
    i too have resolved multiple times in the past to let my heart flow through my words, but just keep on procrastinating that thought.. don’t know when will i start… i face issues, keep them in my heart and mind, think of telling it to my blog, hold that thought back, regret, and then the whole cycle continues!

    u r doing a great job 🙂

    Like

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