I was hooked the very first time I read about it on Kismi’s blog. Very few book reviews enchant me enough to stick to my mind like this book did. I jumped on to Google search to find more about this book and every review I read, had similar emotions as Kismi.
Within moments the book was added to my wish list but somewhere deep I had few reservations that kept me from buying the book till now. The book in question is, Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.
The more excerpts I read my fears grew stronger. The book isn’t about tragedies or horror but my then (even now for that matter) state of mind said it aloud, that I was not yet ready to soak in life lessons in any form. I was scared of letting go.
I was aware the book is a celebrated collection of positive notes about life’s beauty, but my mind, struggling with pain, fear and anxieties was postponing reading this book from a long time. Each time I’d open Flipkart I’d toy with the idea of ordering the book (though I have quite a number of other books too in my wish list) but never actually did.
Today afternoon while lazing after a tiring morning I was surveying for a few cook-books on Flipkart when my eyes fell on Tuesdays with Morrie. Something in my heart wanted to discover the secrets the book held and another voice wanted me to wait for a while.
I decided to end this dilemma by opting to see the movie before making any decisions about when to buy the book. The movie gave me insight about a lot of things. Though I am sure the book will be far more impressive but I can’t seem to get the lines
When you learn how to die, you learn how to live”
“Dying is just one thing to be sad about; living unhappily, that’s another matter
among many others from ringing in my head many hours after the movie ended.
If you are wondering why have I written a full post without actually having read the book and not even reviewing the movie. To add to it why have I named this post a new beginning ?
Here’s the answer.
The movie pointed out to me the big reason for all my misery and pain. That I am scared to open up, scared to love again, scared to trust again. I am trying to hide my hurt behind my daily chores and this is what is preventing me from healing completely. Though I have stepped into the realm of acceptance but there are some major changes I need to bring in my life just like Mitch (the author of the book) did.
I cried after a very long time. The tears that had dried up after the traumatic events of the past one year, were finally set free.
It’s like a feeling of being scared of an injection and holding your breath in hope that doing so will help reduce the pain. That’s exactly how I had been reacting to my surroundings. Closing my eyes shut and trying to hide in a cocoon out of fear. Though the reality is quite the contrary.
If you breathe easy and try your best to relax, the injection will actually hurt less for all your muscles relax the minute you do. As against tightening up and contracting all muscles making a prick manifold painful.
The movie had the same soothing effect on my tensed mind. The tightness of chest I had been feeling for a while seems to have eased out, I actually slept well after seeing the movie.
The movie has become my baby steps towards opening myself up after what felt like forever. I am beginning to realize what I need to change, to give myself a second chance at happiness. I am slowly overcoming my fears of reading this beautiful book and I am sure, in no time this book shall be in my hands.
Have a sneak peek at the movie trailer to get an idea of what exactly I am talking about.