As I’d written earlier, the last full week was spent with my nephew, niece and family visiting us. The giggles, babble, jokes, tricks, falls, food, laughter, shopping, gifts and goodness kept me too occupied to even think about my virtual life.
It was a good change from my monotonous life and brought along many new thoughts and revelations about my life and how things have changed in recent times. I’ll be posting details about the various thoughts that crossed my mind in the week gone past but the one thing that I wish to record today is something I want to record for countless reasons. For better evaluation over time being the prime thought but somewhere deep inside there is something that I am failing to put a finger to at this point of time.
I have not come to terms with the extra-attention, extra-pampering and the sympathetic (though never expressed in direct words) attitude people in my life show towards Pari for being a child being brought up by a single parent. I cannot overlook the fact how everyone tries to be extra-nice with Pari and gift her generously in an attempt to cover up the void (that they believe exists in her life in the form of a missing father). It has been going on in various forms and I have been successfully swallowing this bitter pill without expressing my dislike for it.
But, the reality stands, I don’t like it. My heart bleeds seeing people going out of their way to gift things trying to prove that a child needs more and more toys and dresses to feel happy and secure, which a single mother cannot provide.
OK I know I am being too harsh and judgmental with people who make up my family by saying so, but yes, it is what I feel. I want my daughter to be treated normally, not specially. No denial that everyone loves extra-attention, but I don’t find it appropriate the way it is being showered on my baby ever since the D word ( divorce) stepped in my life.
I want the people in our lives to be around us, love us, care for us, but like they always did. Just because I do not have a partner or Pari has only one parent to bring her up, it really doesn’t make us eligible for unwanted sympathy. It pinches my heart and steals the joy of seeing my baby being gifted lavishly when I see people going overboard when shopping for her, thinking aloud that they feel sorry for my Pari. Charity begins at home but should never be done in a way that steps on someone’s self-pride.
Maybe I am over-reacting at this point of time, but that’s how I am learning new lessons every single day.
The song on my mind: Qatra qatra milti hai ~ Ijazat