Like everyone else I too wanted to step in the new year on a happy note, dreamy and excited to meet the future I’ve been dreaming about. But, I woke up cranky, pushing myself to be chirpy and I really can’t deny the streaks of bitterness tinting my mood. Just when my mind called me hormonal, I noted it’s not me, but the world stepping into adolescence that’s touched my life too. Yeah, the century stepped into its first teen year and am sure the dormant rebel in me is surely going to get unleashed this year.

Among the other oddities, the two things that top my wish list for 2013 are an undeniable urge for independence and desire of companionship. I have had quiet a cranky month. I’ll be honest am not yet back to my sane self. That too has been one of the major reasons why I haven’t been able to blog as often I’d like to. The result, a huge pile competing with Burj Khalifa of un-vented thoughts, dilemmas, fear and pain is crushing my peace of mind.

I didn’t mean to start this New Year with a post filled withΒ negativity, but then I decided to keep it real. I have reached at a point in life where my mind refuses to make up stories. I sometimes find myself resorting to desperate measures just to avoid risking my peace of mind over anything new. I understand that is not the right thing to do, but when you are not happy from within it actually shows in your words & actions.

I had started writing this post on the first day of 2013, but my mind somehow convinced me to stop, get a good sleep and continue typing. It has helped, but I have decided to not edit the parts I’ve written earlier to capture my raw feelings. I am highly disturbed about a number of issues. I can feel the rebel in me raise its head again and again. I really feel like a teenager again. Irrational, confused, tilted towards being fashionable, sulking over not looking picture perfect and everything you can imagine.

But, the good part is, I also feel highly energetic and despite the mood swings, am in good control over my mind and self on most of the times.I already know the cause of my pain and possible solutions too. I just urgently want to move out of the sticky mess I am in, fly free, soar high above everything that can disturb my peaceful state. I think I am looking for a punching bag to just fight out and free myself of the issues bothering me. Yes, my blog is my designated punching bag, and I will fight anything to get things back in the neat order I like them to.

Well, if you want to put the blame of everything you do on someone else, you gotta find a scape-goat that won’t fight back. I have found mine, the innocent New Teen Year.

Leaving you with a song that I’ve been religiously listening to every night in a loop for over a week.

Happy New Year folks!!

The Song on my mind: Heer ~ Jab Tak Hai Jaan

32 thoughts on “Teenage

  1. Of course our blogs are usually our favorite punching bags..at least mine definitely is..so go on and punch away eh?

    Big hugs ME…praying that you get 2013 exactly the way YOU want it


  2. I don’t know what to say but it is good that you are venting everything out on blog.. you will feel relieved after writing here..
    sending you lots of positive vibes & hope you don’t feel disturbed in this new year πŸ™‚
    I am sure things will be back in their neat order as you like them to be very very soon..
    Big Hugs my dear..


  3. ME.. to be very honest, this is the first time I hearing about New Year entering teenage and I am highly amused πŸ™‚ Its good that you are trying to accept things and also taking control of your mood swings. Just like any teenager, I am sure this new year will give you lots of opportunities to learn from your experiences while keeping you highly energetic to try a number of things moulding you into the person you want to be.

    A very happy new year to you and Pari darling πŸ™‚


  4. Dear, as we welcome every year, we only like to see ourselves positive, happy and filled with vitality… And our wishes may not always seem to give its way to reality…

    Days are both sweet and sour…. It is the way we handle it which makes the difference…. A bad day taken well may prove to fill up your spirits later, and after the passage of time, we ourselves will be surprised to recollect how it all came out to be….
    Some things like this are better said than done, and I do realize the phase you are going through…. Come out of it dear.. Making small efforts will help ease your self bit by bit and you are soon going to be back with all your vigor and zeal!

    Keep penning… And I’m sure your words will fetch you more happiness than ever!!
    Hugs and Cheers πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚


    1. Thank you for those enlightening words Daffodil. they actually made me see many unseen gifts this new year has sent my way πŸ™‚
      Wish you a very Happy 2013 πŸ˜€


  5. Hey ME! Wishing you a very very happy new year! May you get all the happiness you deserve and more. Many hugs to pari too.
    2012wasnt an easy year for you so its totally ok for you to be the way you are and im sure 2013 will bring in a lot of peace and joy…
    Take care…


  6. It’s ok to feel blue once in a while. The more important thing is to fight back. Here’s wishing you a very happy new year. May this one be the happiest till now for you and Pari!


  7. hugs ME.. wow that’s a new dimension that the century is stepping into its teen..
    hope this year will put together all the pieces and make a big difference for you… wishing you all the strength to face the new year with a positive note.. easier said than done but this is what I truly wish for you and Pari


  8. Many people like you have started the year on a bad note. I guess it has a lot to do with what’s going on in our country. As you mentioned the blog can be good punching bag. A great platform to vent feelings and you feel good after that πŸ™‚


    1. I agree, our country’s painful & scary state of affairs has a lot to do with the way I am feeling at the moment, let’s hope this year will change things for the better πŸ™‚
      A very Happy New Year to you Diana πŸ™‚


  9. Oh dear, I so wish I could do something to cheer you up. Trust me I went through similar phase in my life but there is always a light towards the end of tunnel. Just hang in there, 2013 will be a wonderful year for you and Pari..


  10. I am terribly late here na 😦

    Hugs ME πŸ™‚

    Every thing will fall in place, it has to. Keep loving, keep sharing and keep winning all the Twitter contests πŸ˜›


    1. you aren’t late Visha, you are just on time for I have actually recovered from that ugly, confused phase by now πŸ™‚
      As far contests, you just read na how mad I am getting πŸ˜‰
      Thank you for the sweet wishes πŸ˜€


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