My darling Pari,
I am sorry for writing to you after a very long break. The good news is, that all this while I have been busy having fun with you. Seeing you grow up, cherishing every moment of your mischief and learning to be a better parent with each lesson.
It’s amazing how nature designed parenthood. We parents, think we are teaching our babies while the reality is we are educating ourselves to be better human beings and smarter parents for our children. I’ll leave these philosophies of parenting to be talked about at a later date and indulge in the topic I started writing this letter on.
If you’ve gathered a feeling that I have been confused about what to write in this letter and that was why I had started talking aimlessly about parenting in general, let me share my little secret with you. I am not confused. In fact I have been mulling over writing this letter for a very long time. Almost a year to be honest, but, never knew how to do it. Today, I started with the determination that I want to write this before I get too busy and forget all about it.
Pari, I want you to always remember this fact that your father’s absence in our lives is not your fault. You are in no way responsible for all that happened in my married life. Please don’t ever let anyone say this to you, that it was in any way cause of you.
Why your father chose the path he did, the priorities he had in no way has any bearing to you or your gender. Love, please don’t ever, even in your wildest dreams or idle thoughts think anything remotely contrary to this belief.
I wish to tell you clearly, that all that your father chose to do was his personal decision. A person always has a choice to decide either of the two paths life offers. Irrespective of why he chose what, what matters is what one chooses. Accountability for our decisions and actions requires a lot of courage, clarity and good-will.
I do not deny the fact that the decisions taken by your father & mother in the first year of your life will have massive impact on your life, but, we need to live the life as it is. What we have control over is our present and our future. Never let the shadows or ghosts of the past dim your excitement for life. It was my past not yours.
I want you to know all about your father, but only as a lesson of your history. It has nothing to do with who you are. Reality stands that genetics govern who we become, but still every person is unique. So are you. God & life wants you to get the best, they wish a good life for you that’s why you stepped in my life as my savior.
We will surely talk about all the things that I have written and also those that I have missed on writing in this blog.
Just remember, it’s not about you. Now and forever, your father is just a name. A noun, best remembered only at the time of filling up forms.
With lots of love & blessings,
The song on my mind: Je le zara ~ Talaash
For other letters to my daughter, visit here