Kal Ho Na Ho

I am very nervous. I can feel my feet go cold, my will go shaky with a rhythmic rise and fall of pangs of anxiety. The present is blurred in tears and future fogged with endless worries.

With my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer, our life and plans for a secure future have fallen apart like wind blowing away a castle of playing cards. We seem to be caught in a whirlpool of trials and tribulations of life. Regaining balance isn’t going to be easy this time.

Just when I had started living life on a normal note, heard the first dime give my bank account a ring, dared to dream again spending blood and sweat trying to make Pari’s future secure all seems to be gone for a toss.

The sleepless nights, sinking feeling filling up my heart seems to have sucked out all my optimism. I am stuck in a pang of never ending depression, where juggling my priorities of playing a mother and taking care of my mother are crushing me brutally. I am not sure if life will ever be the rosy, optimistic ride ever again, though there is one thing I have relearned.

“There is never a tomorrow. Live today to the fullest.”

19 thoughts on “Kal Ho Na Ho

  1. chipmunk

    That’s wise line dear!!! god won’t let us to stumble half way!!! He has some plan for us and tha’s why we are undergoing everything in the world

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  2. Dear ME, I empathise with your situation. Loads of hugs dear. Just be a bit more patient. Things will fall into its place. Concentrate on one thing at a time. I know its easier said than done. But wasn’t it you had surpassed all the trials and emerged victorious previously? You will do the same now.. If you feel depressed say to yourself that you will be depressed later when time permits.. not now… take care of yourself and your family..
    Love and best wishes..

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  3. Hugs!! These words may seem hollow, but I understand how you must be feeling. Just be brave and don’t give up. God is probably testing you more than required.. But it is the stone which suffered, which became the sculpture, not the rest. Have faith and hope!!

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  4. More than Words

    Hang in there ME …..you have seen worse and emerged victorious….this too shall pass……dont loose faith….sending you hugs and prayers…..

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  5. I know how you are feeling. I got scared like hell when my father’s sister, my aunt got diagnosed with it. I was close to her. And it affected me. But we can’t fight their battles. but we can help them by being brave and on their side. I know you will stay strong by your mother. 🙂

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  6. Hi ME,
    Landed here from RM’s blog.
    I dont have any words to share your pain, I know its unbearable.
    Let me know if you need any help for mumbai front. (read your posts today only).

    Take care of yourself and your mom.

    Like

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