I have made many attempts to get back to regular blogging, failing every single time. Today I am at a place in life when many days pass without me logging in my blog and many months have elapsed since I have visited any of my favorite blogs.
Time seems to have slipped past my grip like sand and today I have no clue what is gong on the blog world, who are the new faces, what have my favorites been upto and most importantly what have I been upto if I need to have a closer look in hindsight.
But, the truth stands, most of this absence has been deliberate. It started with me going crazy busy, then depression added up to the chaos and together they both stirred up a cocktail that now when i do get time, I try my best to cook up an excuse in my head to put off writing until tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes.
My mind is so cluttered with insecurities, depressive thoughts, anger, frustration, fatigue, angst and every other negative emotion that can fit in my little head that I never feel I am ready to write like I did when I started this blog.
It has more to do with the walls I have built around myself in an attempt to feel secure, but the reality stands they’ve merely crippled me and done no good what so ever.
Let me share snippets of all that’s going on at my end because I have no idea when will I share the elaborate details on these.
Mum is better than before. After 4 surgeries post the complications I had written about, finally after many grafts and re-infections she is finally off her daily visits to the hospital since last week.
I humbly thank everyone who sent me emails, messages and prayers for my mother’s speedy recovery. It’s all cause of your good wishes and support that we have reached this side of the tunnel.
Pari is at her mischievous, stubborn best setting the bar higher everyday. We’ve come a long way in these two months of her school life, details of those are surely coming up soon because everyday is precious and eventful.
Dad is tired, broken and exhausted emotionally as well as physically.
But we are still going on and are determined to break free of this dull phase soon.
I have been working at making my dreams come true, they were never too many and the handful of those that I had, I am trying my best to transform them to reality because last 3 years of life have shown me life is too short to waste it wishing for things we love without working to achieve them.
P.S. – This post has not been proof read.