Its been a rough ride, a high tide and yes, my tears have dried since I started this blog. Though today isn’t my blog anniversary, but I thought of looking back at how far I have come in these four years.
This blog was born out of my need to purge out the pain, to seek clarity from catharsis of the hurt my dead marriage had sent my way. Though it started with an idea of becoming my personal journal, this blog has grown in ways I hadn’t thought possible.
To begin with, this blog isn’t my first blog. I have been blogging for almost 9 years now and my earlier blogs focused mainly on my (then) professional life. Though I did scribble personal posts back then but somewhere I could never get the feeling that I was letting go of a piece of myself in every blog post I type out.
This is where this blog is different. In every post written on this blog, I can feel a part of me. I can re-live the pain, the joy, the bewilderment, the animosity, the passion surging in their myriad hues. Every now and then someone who has been silently reading my blog chooses to write an email and that’s when I take time to sit and read the relevant posts all over again.
There are times when those precious emails have made me see life from a different angle. Every time it happens, my onward journey gets a new direction. Every single word written on this blog is close to my heart. I want to preserve it to be able to read and share with Pari many years from today. That was exactly the whole idea when I had started this blog and it holds true till today.
When I was struggling to let go of the painful memories, I had often wished for the super-power to forget all happenings, all arguments to be able to look ahead from the noise of troubled times.
My wish was granted. But like everything in life, this blessing too came at a price.
The fading memory did lend me relief from the cacophony of troubles but along with the flow slowly started erasing the lessons learnt with time. I started struggling to remember exact details of the events that happened hardly 3 years from today. This was when, this blog came in handy.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ― Haruki Murakami
All it takes is to sift through the archive to commemorate any memory from the 4 years gone by. This blog is my solace, my haven of cherished life-lessons.
Recently, a strange fear has been knocking at my heart. One that I just can’t shrug off. The fear of losing this blog. In an era driven by technological advancements, it might come across as pointless, but we cannot rule out the possibility given the fact my blog is currently hosted on a free platform.
What if one fine day, WordPress.com chooses to shut down? Would taking a back up of 400+ blog posts and over 100 drafts be plausible in that kind of an emergency?
This gives birth to the desire of shifting to a self-hosted blog. I am 75% sure that I want to do it, but the 25% currently clouded mind is not too sure if it is a smart move. Besides, it involves money that though isn’t negligible but can surely be seen as an investment to keep me inspired enough to blog regularly.
What do you think?
Do you have a self-hosted blog or have an idea of how good or not-so-good this idea is?
Which platform do you use? Are you satisfied with the results?
P.S. – Do you like the new look of the blog?
The song on my mind: Chalte Chalte, mere ye get yaad rakhna