Melting Point

Happiness is an attitude we act upon.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happier and stronger.  The amount of work is the same.

All my life I have been known for my optimistic approach to life and a warm smile. Not anymore. There are days in a row when I haven’t smiled even once. I’d like to clarify, here, by smiling I mean a happy smile and not a courteous one. I shower the latter pretty promptly many times a day.

The dried up smiles sure have been watermarked by tears that flow promptly these days. I dearly miss my lost smiles. No-matter how hard I try, smiling these days takes a conscious effort and I am sure, the effort shows.

When my (apparently) happy life started falling apart like a pack of cards, I had imagined the future to be difficult. I knew times would be trying. But, among every other chaos, deep within my heart, I had felt that with the love of my dear ones, I’ll surely sail through these rough waters.

Time ticked past. Like a journey in train, life, people, memories zipped past me as I struggled, stumbled yet moved on. But, today, while taking stock of my life, I realized, I am still sore deep inside. My cheeks are still water marked and my heart is still aching with raw pain.

It’s rightly said, people who are closest to you always hurt you the most. Something similar has been going on in my life. I am so miserable that I struggle to spend the 24 hour, everyday gifts me. I am growing bitter and brittle with each second. The negativity in my system is flowing above the danger level and my sanity is the long lost item.

* All details and more are coming up in my next post that will be password protected. If you do not receive the password within 6 hours of my publishing it, please drop me an email and I’ll be happy to share the password if you are a regular reader of my blog.

The song on my mind : Mere dukh ki koi dawa na karo ~ Chitra Singh & Jagjit Singh

12 thoughts on “Melting Point

  1. Satori

    Dear ME,
    You have been bombarded by so many negative situations in spite of which, you are much more positive than is humanly possible!!
    This has worked for many and I also have benefitted from this whenever I have tried it. Can you try keeping a gratitude diary where you write each day or night about the things and people you feel grateful for each day? Even though we may feel grateful in our minds, writing down everyday is really powerful and has the capacity to change your current situation simply by attracting more situations to feel grateful for. Please try and see if it works.

    Like

  2. Curtlyexpressions

    You seem so vulnerable, and yet you found yourself a way of dealing with your problems. I’ve been following your blog for a while and I can see how strong you are. I can understand every feeling of yours; as I am going through such a dark, gloomy phase in my life.
    The world, more often than not, pushes everyone to be optimistic. In my experience, being optimistic or faking it will not do much good. All the songs and movies are filled with these fake positivism; which is not real. The real life exists in accepting what it is; whether it is being vulnerable or sad, and at the same time being optimistic— and not faking positive feelings..!
    Please send your password.

    Like

  3. 3 things that help me when I go through dark phases.
    1.Thinking about things that I should be grateful about. If at the present moment this seems tough, look at the lives of your help/maids. You will gain a perspective
    2. Some sort of exercise. I know that making time for this is difficult, especially with a toddler, but even a 10 minute exercise (try pilates or swimming) will make you feel much much better
    3. Hug your child. Spend time with the baby without any other thoughts invading your play time.

    Ive written to you before, and I don’t want to come across as some gyaani. I know that only you know the extent of your pain. Just wanted to share the methods I use to cope.

    Hugs.

    Like

  4. Take care and i know eays to say dont let things bug you down.. but still that is the only way

    such times are way of life, after bad good times will come for sure .. and you are 100% right on the fact that its only those close to us who hurt us the most always..

    I dont let anyone be so near to my heart anymore.. as I think from my heart and everyone takes advantage of that ..

    Take care and god bless the little one

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  5. mamata

    Dear Me,

    I totally understand you. Sometimes it is ok to be bitter atleast you are not letting others to take over you, let them be at a distance with you. At this moment you need the people who love you unconditionally and I’m sure that would be your family your daughter. Just hang on there this phase will definitely pass.

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  6. What I like about you is how you analyse all the situations….I somehow can never do this….and I am sure despite all the Odds that God is stacking against you, you will come out a winner. (((((hugs)))))

    *waiting for the password*

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  7. Hi,
    I stumbled upon your blog while I was dealing with a heartbreak myself and ever since I got hooked onto it. I read all the posts in 2 days and trust me Era, the kind of strength and maturity you have shown is seldom seen these days. It takes immense strength to deal with these kind of things in a matured fashion and after reading your blog I know for and trust that you will come out of it.
    Please do not loose strength, this is like a marathon where running the last mile is the most challenging and most difficult. You have reached the last leg of this journey and I am sure you will see light. Please do not succumb and give up now.
    If you do not mind sharing your password for the next post,I would be thankful.
    All the best!!!

    Like

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