I spent the first 16 years of my life oblivious to the fact that I needed to have a purpose to guide me where I ought to go in life. At 25 years, when I was married and settled in a foreign land, one fine evening, I sat gazing at the blazing sky analyzing the fire within my heart. I could feel its presence, I was aware of my ambition to lead an inspired life but was clueless about how to make it happen.
As is said that we become who we spend our life with, what we read and what we believe in. Somehow, I had misinterpreted this fact to mean that I am better off cutting ties from the people who had a negative impact on my psyche. At that point of time, it felt like the best or rather the most convenient thing to do.
But life doesn’t pay heed to our interpretations. It moves on at its decided pace, in the direction it wishes to, leaving a lot of room for surprises and experiences. I can vividly remember the evening (hardly a fortnight before my life took a dramatic turn) when I was feeling pretty confident about having finally figured out where I wanted to be in my life, ten years down the line.
Little did I know that all my planning was futile and I was destined to go South and not East. Though it took me 6 long years from that day to figure this out. But in the years gone by, I was kept amused by the fact that though my ambitions and expectations from life have undergone a sea change, one thing is consistent.
Every negative person or situation that I had tried to avoid, resurfaced with a vengeance. Every change that I secretly wished for, became all the more relevant in my new life. Leaving me with no other option but to face each hurdle and fight with zeal if I wish to survive my new life.
If you have read my blog from the start, you’d be well-aware of my struggles, failures, frustrations and everything part of my life today.
Though I still can’t claim to know the purpose of my life, but having come thus far, I am confident that I am beginning to learn that I can’t hope to know it anytime soon till I develop a thick skin and a deaf ear to every possible negativity that constantly aims to drag me down.
I am in a better position than I was at the start of this year, blessed with a clearer vision than what I had six months from today. That can be considered quite an achievement to keep me motivated and going.
My takeaways from my experiences in the journey of finding the true purpose of my life:
- Life allows us no escape. Whatever we leave undone, we will have to finish before life allows us to move ahead.
- Closures are important at every point in life. They are the only ways to prevent history from repeating itself.
- Being honest to ourselves is vital. It is the first step of discovering the true purpose of our lives. As long as we keep lying to ourselves, dread being confronted by our conscience, we are simply breathing but not living the life we are born to lead.
- Live every moment to the fullest. It just might be your last chance to do what you really enjoy but aren’t destined to have forever.
- The true purpose of our lives connects us with our soul and the universe in a mystic way. Whether or not we realize it or are able to connect it this way. Irrespective of how big or small we perceive our purpose to be, but it has a way of making us feeling connected with powers governing the universe. This is how I have come to feel lately.
I might be lost chasing a mirage or might actually be on a track designed to lead me to the purpose of my life. I can’t say for sure. But, delving deep, deconstructing my life and reflecting on it from different angles has made me feel better connected with myself and the universe. It is a peaceful place to be in.
Are you aware of the purpose of your life?
The song on my mind: Tum pukar lo, tumhara intezaar hai ~ Khamoshi