These Days

After attempting the NaBloPoMo last month ( I tried my best and to my credit, I churned out 24 posts in November) I don’t want to return back to blogging hibernation yet again. Luckily, I have not exhausted the topics to write about. It’s just the time crunch that has been keeping me off the radar lately.

these-days

With 5 days of the last month of 2016 already over, I can’t help but feel time has literally flown past without me making enough notes in my blog. In the 5 years of its existence, this year in particular saw many long breaks where all I posted were mainly book reviews.

The reason of my disappearances has majorly been procrastination but on a second thought, it has been my urge to record more positive thoughts than the sea of negativity I swum through in this year. With tremendous effort, I am beginning to change that bit.

Nowadays, I have stopped aiming for a positive ending in my writing. Instead, I am content with pouring my heart in words, to keep my emotions flowing free. The walls of over-expectations I earlier used to build were making me feel suffocated. All I was gaining was regrets of not having chronicled my struggles for clarity in hindsight.

While I am still an optimist, my perspective of optimism and hope has changed considerably. I have come to believe that while having faith in positive outcomes is desirable, not fearing the negativity is crucial too. All this while, I have been denying the existence of negativity or waiting for it to disappear making room for positivity to mark a time-stamp in my life. But that is no longer so. I have learnt to accept the setbacks and hope with equal openness.

My biggest recent achievement has been finding answers to a few questions that have been plaguing my mind since childhood. Handling anger and unearthing the triggers that were nowhere close to what I had imagined them to be, has changed the course of my life. Taking the newly learnt lessons as my guide in life ahead is going to be a challenge because the revelations have been pretty painful.

In other news, these days I am trying to read as many books I can fit in my day and I am loving the new-found bond I have developed with non-fiction reads.

The one dilemma that I have never been able to solve is whether a busy life with no time for worry or contemplation is better than a life led at an easy pace with lot of time to reflect and perhaps worry too.

However, I am sort of liking the new-found busyness. It keeps me from over-thinking and helps me stay away from the useless worries letting me lead a rather planned life. In short, I am content with the place I am in, excited about the new beginnings and determined to make every moment better than the previous in my own ways.

The song on my mind: Zindagi ke khel mein kaun ye jaane ~ Khel

10 thoughts on “These Days

  1. I’ve always been amazed at your ability to analyze your actions and be so honest about it on this space …. you are a very strong person ME !! Cheers to your optimism!! Hope 2017 brings you all things you deserve and so much more 🙂 !!

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  2. Been busy diverts our mind to do something useful then sitting idle and worrying. If we sit idle our mind digs into the past and most of the time it digs into negative only.
    Today I came to your blog to see why there are no post from you.

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  3. RamyaRao

    Even I don’t understand whether a busy life with no time for worry is better than a life led at an easy pace with a lot of time. But being busy has always defined me.
    Maybe the kick is to take life as it comes. Accepting setbacks is something that is very difficult, ME.
    Cheers to new beginnings and may you have a beautiful December, ME. 🙂 ❤

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    1. That’s true Ramya. The joy of having checked items off the to-do list is always satisfying. Idle mind so often drifts to self-destructive route that it sounds more logical to stay busy.
      Thank you for the love & wish you a fabulous month ahead ❤

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  4. This blog sums up my hestitation with blogging. It took me forever to start, when I did it felt great but then I was easily bombarded and sidetracked with everything else thrown my direction. IG content, followers, subscribers, niches, etc. Lost track and interest. So glad I reached out to others, it’s helping me rediscover why I wanted to start in the first place. To share MY story and find my tribe! Loved this!

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    1. Welcome to my space SoChill 🙂
      I agree, blogging in its initial phase can be pretty overwhelming especially when we are bombarded with the information on how to sustain the pressure of standing out in the sea of blogs. So glad you chose to stay put and learnt the one important lesson that keeps any blogger sailing smoothly.
      Keep up the good work!

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  5. Sara

    Reflection and contemplation has very little to do with the kind of lives we lead. At least in my life. I believe it has to do a lot with personalities. Since I was little I contemplated about any any things. I found out later that wasn’t the case with any of my peers. My work is extremely hectic where I don’t even have time to take a sip of water bit still I can’t help but think, contemplate, reflect about anything and everything even whilst I’m working. So it hasn’t really changed much as compared to the days when I had loads of free time. Also I think over thinking and analyzing too much can lead to depression.

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    1. I agree with you Sara that overthinking has roots of depression and this is why I always try to keep myself as busy as I can be. I have added loads of reading to my every day to keep myself motivated, engaged and thinking but not about myself or my life but a variety of topics that I enjoy.
      I have been quite like you for the major part of my life, but am gradually mending my ways to lead a better life.
      Thank you Sara for sharing your personal experience ❤

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