Moving ahead

Thank you everyone who shared their valuable inputs & personal experience in my post, Finding Answers.

I am feeling a lot better now having made many changes and decisions since that day. Firstly, ranting about the many confusions & insecurities circling my mind was a major step in freeing myself from them. I had been trying to get away with them letting time to soak them up, but unfortunately like always only writing about it could rescue me.

I have started disciplining Pari a little more strictly than I was earlier. I think it would be more appropriate to say, that I have now started being firm with her which I am sure was lacking all this while. Earlier I used to try to explain things to her, be very serious with her but somewhere I was being more of a friend than a parent and that lack of firmness, I guess was the result of my constant failure.

The first time I refused to give in to her kicking, hitting, screaming tactics, she responded with going quiet. That silence, absolute lack of resistance and looking away from me hugging her favorite soft-toy made my heart stop for a while. The silence was deafening. But, I had to keep my stand, I have to do it many times again and I am going to do it. Discipline in life is mandatory. Teaching the right behavior is a very tedious task, but a necessary one.

Things are slowly changing. It’s too early to call them positive but yes, there is a definite change of gears as far how I am handling things.

I have started working on a lot of other issues that I learnt about from the helpful responses on my earlier post.

Among other things I am trying to concentrate on Pari alone whenever I am with her. It’s tough while juggling many household chores or trying to grab a few moments of me-time, but I am trying my best.

Another important point is I have come to understand that my ex is my past. I need to move out of his shadow while dealing with Pari to be able to see things in current perspective and as issues of child behavior alone. I am determined to slowly curtail till I totally minimize the thoughts of blaming my problems on Pari’s half pool of genes that she has inherited from her father. It’s sad that my insecurities often raise their head to confuse me enough to go emotionally unstable whenever trials come.

Having said that, since my vision is getting clearer, I can see rays of hope fill my system. This self-analysis shall continue in the coming posts too, for I think I have managed to cover just the tip of the iceberg in this post.

The song on my mind: Kuch Dil ne Kaha ~ Anupama

34 thoughts on “Moving ahead

  1. I felt so happy on reading this post ME.. We all are newbies to the role of parenting and learning every single day. I am glad that you found your way. hugs dear.. take care

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  2. I just read your linked post and this one and I think tantrums are part of growing up. My son though does not bite but starts crying loudly so what I have tried with him is : if I know the tantrum is without a reason, I totally ignore it. Give him time to recover and then as soon as he is finished, I start talking to him about something else and warn him that if he will again throw a tantrum, I will not play this game with him. The tantrums take a bell curve . They peak when you start ignoring and using discipline and then they subside. On the other hand, If the tantrum is due to a reason, i stay with him, don’t hug him but let him calm down and then explain to him. I don’t know if it will work with Pari but it works for my son. Hope you are able to contain that 🙂

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  3. Glad to know that things are improving ME. Pari is a darling and would listen to you, no matter what. Just dont lose hope and continue doing whatever you are doing. Everything is going to be fine. Take care ME!

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  4. Hugs! Glad to know things are working.
    I’ve heard this phrase that it’s better to be a parent while the kid is very young and then once he/she grows older, to be more of a friend.
    Makes sense, doesn’t it? 🙂

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    1. It does make full sense Ash, just that when thrown in a difficult situation, all the words of wisdom seem to disappear in thin air for me. But, am learning gradually 😀

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  5. good for you! I think you’re doing great as a mom. I realize how hard it must be to deal with a small child along with everything else that’s going on. I admire your patience and ability to be so strong 🙂

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  6. Glad to know that you are making changes. Yes, being firm with kids helps. when my daughter starts her tantrums, I just leave her alone and move away from the sight. But, that said, you can give in sometimes too.:) No harm indulging the little darlings sometimes. Take care ME. Please understand that tantrums are just a part of toddlerhood. All of us have to bear it. Some of us just handle it better than others. She will outgrow it. When she is five, you’ll find it hard to believe that it was the same little girl (like my son’s calmness amazes me now ) 🙂

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    1. I totally agree with you MoRS. It’s been a while since I wrote this post and I can actually see a sea change in my relationship with Pari and how she has started listening to me much more than she ever did 🙂
      Thank you for sharing those pearls of wisdom 😀
      Hugs!!

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    1. Thank you Visha for reminding me the most important lesson of parenting, that I so often tend to forget 😀
      Routine Daal chawal re 🙂
      Long time sweetie…how have you been?

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