… when I experienced a sea of emotional meltdowns flood and almost drown my sanity.
Till an hour back, I was determined to pen down the hurt that was making me go breathless and insane. Slowly as the clock ticked past to indicate I had to decide whether I want to write a post or not, I conveniently thought of giving today’s post a miss.
A bad day shouldn’t ruin everything that happens to you during those 24 hours, is my usual belief. Irrespective of my agitated self, I decided to continue my ritual of writing a daily post.
As is already clear from what all you have read till now, that I’m busy ranting, beating about the bush. I am not too sure how to approach the topic of what happened today and most importantly, how could today have been different?
To be honest, I was furious more than half of the day and the rest of the time when the steam cooled down, I was busy trying to understand what can be done to help me resolve the issue.
I am refraining from letting too much details slip past my grip till the time I get an understanding and clearer picture. But, since I started writing about it, for sake of posterity I’ll share that I am agitated about the friction I face being the sandwich generation of the house.
Yes, I am the sandwich generation in my home where besides me, my parents and daughter live. So while am answerable for all that I or my baby does, I am also the one responsible for ensuring the safety of the two generations who need my extra care and attention.
Normally, all of us live and work in harmony. Today wasn’t one of those days, hence the burnout of my brain.
To add fuel to the situation, our domestic help is celebrating an extended Rakshabandhan (spanning over 5 days). I am tired like a dead
horse mare at this hour, after the usual slog, with added household chores since a couple of days already and today’s emotional melodrama.
I sometimes wonder, why are our domestic helps sick or absent on days when we actually need them the most? Or, we are so dependent on them that we can’t function smoothly in their absence?
Maybe, its nature’s way of sobering us and making us realise their importance in our lives so that we dare not utter an angry word when our favourite piece of crockery or prized possession mug crashes in the kitchen sink. Afterall, all china ware were made to be broken. If not by our domestic help, then by us, then why fret? But, this is not the way real life operates.
We brood over things our mind knows well are inevitable part of our lives. We are riled up about things that can’t be changed. I am no different. Even if my anger and frustration was futile, am happy to have let my chagrin find a vent.
I am not one of those (anymore, yes I used to be till not so long ago) who lets worries smoulder and suffocate them to lead to ailments and death.
I am a seeker. I won’t sit at peace till I find a suitable solution. That’s exactly what I am going to do today too. While I sit over my anger and ponder, let me assure you, everything I vaguely talked about in this mashup post will be talked about at length on this blog. Soon.
The song on my mind : Jaane kya baat hai ~ Sunny