Sore

My heart is sore and so is my soul. There are so many painful happenings in and around my life that finding time to  scribble a post in full sense actually didn’t happen all this while.

I will be sharing greater details in the coming days but for now here’s the glimpse of the tip of the iceberg of what all has been happening at my end. After the successful surgery when we finally returned back home, things did look like going on a smooth sail for a few days before complications began.

My mother’s diabetes has been playing havoc with infection at the surgical site and gaping of the suture line due to infection. She is under care of the best specialists known to us, but somehow things haven’t been going as expected.

The handful of medicines she consumes with every meal wells up tears in our eyes besides seeing her in so much pain all day long. Yes, she is taking pain killers as and when necessary, but that doesn’t help when you are under excruciating pain on and off.

The misery doesn’t end there. Daily visits to the hospital for dressing are a very difficult journey to accomplish in the given circumstances. Besides, heavy rains in the past 72 hours have only made things very difficult.

It is rightly said misfortune never comes alone. While we are still struggling to learn to cope with the situation we are stuck in ever since my mother has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, emotionally too things are on the down side.

Some major happenings in the family have only added to my mother’s emotional distress in her already battered state. I have been contemplating whether I should talk about the many issues we are facing on the family front on the blog. After much thought I think I should talk about it here (in posts coming soon) to help people understand cancer closely. How? details shall follow in the appropriate posts which I am not sure yet, but I might be writing about in a password protected post.

Pari has been coping better with the current circumstances ever since we returned back home. Though she can sense the many changes and restrictions that have been laid on her playing with her grandmother, she can be seen taking them all in good light at home than when we were in Delhi*.

As far as I am concerned, I am shaken, dead tired (already) and broken inside. While shouldering full responsibility of the home, Pari and my mother I feel fatigue and endless stress are taking a toll on my sanity and health.

Life is in its roughest phase at my end. I have so many problems and worries to address that finding time to read and respond to comments, emails, posts of my favorite bloggers or the books lying unread is beyond impossible.

I know, you’d be tempted to say, ‘this too shall pass’, though honestly I am not too sure about it this time.

The song on my find:  Ye kya jagah hai doston ~ Umrao Jaan

* Name of the place changed to protect identity.

17 thoughts on “Sore

  1. banni

    Keep strong Era you’ve come a long way. There’s always hope at the end of the tunnel and things will get better. Take care and stay strong x

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  2. So sorry you and your mum are going through this. One of my closest friends went through this last year so I have some inkling. She too had family troubles that hit during that time. Sometimes the patient just needs to disengage from all the extraneous drama. Hope your mum can do that, though it’s hard in her weak state.

    If you’re not too busy, there’s a post on IHM’s blog from a woman with a child going through a divorce from a man who is making it very hard. If you have any advice for her, maybe get in touch through the blog. (you can delete this part before posting my comment).

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  3. Satori

    I feel so terrible for you! Whoever said “when it rains, it pours” was so right! I simply can’t imagine the physical fatigue you must be facing over and above all the emotional one. Having to take care of a toddler itself is enough to drain a mothers energy by the end of the day- on top of it you have to take care of your Mom and also cook and keep house. I really wish you can find some kind of help- to either take care of the kitchen and house itself or to take care of Pari. I just wish things become better for you in the coming days. I have always felt that you were a very balanced and centered person the way you handled the previous problems. There is no doubt in my mind that all of you will sail through this one too unscathed. Keep faith. Take care of yourself too.

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  4. I dunno what to say, but I keep wondering why all this should happen. When somethin bad happens to me, I console myself thinking that the bad has already come and the good things are next in queue. But I guess you have been waiting for quite some time now… I sincerely hope that things will be better , much ,much better in the coming days.

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  5. CoralClassic

    Only a short while ago, you got freedom from your in-laws and husband. Its sad that, immediately you are caught with the current situation. Don’t lose hope. Keep your spirits high. You are a true fighter. These are tough times. But take care of your health also, its very important. Wish you Good Luck!!

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  6. Take care Era, I’m glad Pari is understanding better.. And I pray all goes well with your Mom soon.. I hope the extended family is not troubling or something.. Stay strong dear..

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  7. Mamta

    I wish I was beside you hold you hug you share the burden of helping your mom and pari, I wish for so many things I know it it not possible. I have been following yr blog just a couple of months back, praying for all the happenings. Just hold on dear sometimes things aren’t in our favour, Hug your mom tight, hug pari squeeze her you will feel more better. I know it is always easy to say, but believe me it will pass off, I have been through terrible time but patience always plays a vital role. You are a wonderful daughter to your parents and wonderful mom to pari its just a testing time…. please hold on dear.

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  8. Pingback: Tough Times | The Era I lived in

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