It is often said that parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever come to love. Logically, stringing the ‘toughest job’ with ‘love’ in one sentence comes across as an oxymoron. But if you’re a parent you’ll wholeheartedly agree that it is not the case.
I believe, parents go ahead to indulge in the tough, exhausting drill of playing the parent fueled by passion. Because nothing else can possibly explain why wouldn’t a parent choose to give up as soon as the going gets tough.
“Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we’d be truly dead.” ~ Joss Whedon
Before you call it love, let me share my reason for choosing passion over love. As a parent, there have been many occasions when my life has been so helter-skelter that I couldn’t slow down to feel the love. I know it exists but is hardly felt in the chaos that ensues from the time a child is born. I sometimes feel that love we are so possessed by the problems at hand that we fail to feel the presence of love in our hearts or to make it felt by our children.
The one thing that flows in plenty in our world is unsolicited advise. Everyone is an expert in parenting unless they are the parents of the child in question. As a parent one always treads on a fine line of doing enough for our children and failing ourselves, our expectations to achieve what we intended to. But the real deal is, the results of this balancing act are never known until you look down at your journey in hindsight.
As a child what I feel for my parents is entirely different from their perspective of the same situations. It holds true in case of my daughter and me too. However, this is the rule of life. Every individual sees life from the lens they choose to wear, but a parent chooses to don the rose-tinted glasses of passion to look at their child every single time.
The beauty of being driven by passion is we are never exhausted of showering our love even if our children fail to feel it. We are so high on making them happy that no roadblock in our path looks scary enough. It is passion alone that inspires us to swallow all pain, hurt, hatred, resentment or grief and keep going to fulfill our responsibilities, ticking every box to ensure that smile, that little spark in our child’s eyes stays intact.
Today has been an unusually rough day for me. I had an emotional meltdown following a tantrum and yelling by Pari in the afternoon.I was so upset that I couldn’t feel at peace despite tears streaming down my face for over fifteen minutes. Finally when the cloud of rage cleared giving room to peace and clarity, a sudden thought made me stop to think.
With the pace with which time has been galloping past my grip and my child is growing up, soon it’ll be time when Pari will be ready to fly out of the nest, leaving me behind. This passing thought, choked me for a moment. I stopped to turn and look back at my current self from the imaginary podium in the future. At that very instant I realized how trivial these emotional meltdowns feel, perhaps I would have long forgotten them by then and so would Pari.
However, what shall remain is my passion to bring out the best in my child, the adoration with which I want her to be happy, the dedication with which I encourage her to be who she was born to be. In the few years of my life as a parent, I am so absorbed by my driving passion that I cannot imagine my life without it. It fuels my existence, directs my life and governs how my tomorrow shall be.
Then why am I wasting these precious moments of our togetherness in belligerence?
That precious thought fanned the spark of passion sitting idle waiting to be noticed in me and in no time I left my impassioned, hurt self to take a back seat and moved on to play with my child as if nothing had happened this afternoon.
What according to you is the driving force for parents to love their children unconditionally and make silent sacrifices all the time?
* This post is part of the April A to Z Challenge 2016. My theme is Parenting.
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