Last night around bedtime, Pari and I were sharing with each other how our day went. Among other things, she mentioned that her good friend Aditya* was talking to her other friend Ananya* in her (Pari’s ) presence about how good it was that their mothers went to the office every day. He mentioned how lucky he felt to have the house to himself while his parents were away.
This was when Pari took a 2-second break before continuing her narration. Aditya also mentioned how unfortunate Pari was to have her mom stay at home and do nothing.
I could feel an uneasy feeling fill my mind in anticipation of what lay ahead. I was half asleep at that point, but the night ahead didn’t look smooth. Neither was I confident if I will get a peaceful sleep with the way this conversation was moving ahead.
In the recent years, while battling many challenges of being a single parent, I have learnt one thing. When my adult mind can’t figure out what to say next, I trust my child to help me. This is because in my opinion, though children lack experience they are noway short of perspectives or wisdom.
Did I just use wisdom with reference to a child?
Yes, I did.
There have been countless occasions when Pari has acted wisely and better poised than I have even at my age.
Anyway, I digress.
Armed with this belief, I asked Pari how did she react to this.
Pari: In a rather casual tone, without bothering to look my way said, “I told them the truth.”
Me: What truth?
Pari: I told them “My mamma stays at home to take care of me. I love having her around and she lets me be me. I don’t want her to go to the office just so that I can do the mischief I want, because I do it anyway. And you two, dare not speak ill about my mother, else I’ll complain to the teacher.”
I was too overwhelmed by her reply to say anything. Pari was too sleepy to note what effect her words had on me and she slept 30 seconds later.
Tucking Pari in bed, I tried to reflect on what she had told me.
While I was grateful for the fact that my child had stood up to defend my case and how clear she was why her mother stays at home unlike mothers of her peers.
I couldn’t quite let go of this nagging thought if things will be just as easy or clear as they are now for my child to understand.
* Names changed to protect identity.
The song on my mind: It’s only words ~ Boyzone
5 thoughts on “Perspective”
Omg! There’s this thing about never being short of words, but to say the right thing I have failed miserably till date. Sheesh. And your toddler actually came up with that? 😮
If this doesn’t make you feel confident and right about your parenting ways, I don’t know what will. 😀 Although I’m not entirely sure it has anything to do with parenting but the kid sure has the know-how which I believe is something that just can’t be taught. 👌
I totally agree with you that Pari has this inherent wisdom that never fails to leave me in awe because she sounds so sorted despite her age that I can’t even claim it to be a product of my parenting.
I always look forward to your comments Sara, cause I always feel like I want to know what you’d say because it somehow always resonates with my beliefs. You have a way of putting in words whatever is on my mind but which I fail to put a finger to 🙂
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With what confidence she told them shows she knows what she is talking about. It is your parenting…you are not putting her in a cocoon and you are raising a very independent individual. Hugs to pari and to you era.
Hugs to you dear Saritha from both of us ❤
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