Someday

I have had a working mum from the time life started making sense to me. In fact, she started working long before she got married and continued working all her life till her retirement. As a result, from childhood I had the belief that being a working woman is something as normal as eating food on a daily basis.

I grew up, went to a professional college, started working, got married and continued working. It was a smooth transition and I was glad that my professional life was following the normal, natural course that I had always imagined. When thoughts of becoming a parent started painting my dreams, I had thought about countless issues but my work-life seemed to be the one area I never had second thoughts about.

I was clear that like everyone else I too shall work till full-term, go for a maternity leave and get back to work like all working mums do. Looking back, I think I had somehow started taking the dream of a smooth & settled professional life for granted. That’s when life decided to pull the reins and show me the other side of the story.

There is something very impressive about life. I love the way it decides to show the unknown avenues to familiarize us with the way millions of people lead their lives in ways we had never imagined. Something similar happened with me.

Days rolled on and my perception of having a baby is just a matter of planning was seen flying out of the window, in the time it took me to fall pregnant again (after the miscarriage). Eventually when I was pregnant, the doctor commanded advised strict bed rest, requiring me to resign from my job against the planned maternity leave.

Time moved on and I became a mother. Even before I could let the joy of becoming a mother dawn over me, came the period of crisis with a divorce looming over my life, a fractured right hand and an infant to take care of. Getting back to the workforce was the last thing on my mind in the given circumstances.

Days changed to months and over a year later when the dust of the storm that literally blew me off my roots and security of a sound professional life settled, I began my search for work. A place that would reinstate my lost self-confidence and financial independence.

Like always, there is no shortage of work, but the places I wanted to join had candidates with powerful recommendations. The opportunities I was offered demanded me to work till late in the evening for a meager sum. While others indulged in unethical practices.

Something or the other has been constantly stopping me from getting back to work. A lot has changed in me in the course of the difficult times. I still stand by the belief, that each stumbling block was/is laid to teach us an important lesson. A lesson which might not get noticed or be useful on the spot, but will someday fit seamlessly in the maze of life to gift us a solution we never knew existed.

While I am working on planning my future in countless ways, there are moments when I stop and wonder why couldn’t anything in my life ever be normal. Be it my personal, professional or married life, all of it seems to have been cursed with hardships and endless wait.

I am still living in hope that someday these dark thoughts and trying times will make way to a normal life for me. Someday!

The song on my mind: Na jane kyon ~ Chhoti si baat

50 thoughts on “Someday

  1. Nobody’s life is a bed of roses sweets, if it looks so, we never know the whole story 🙂
    Yes, someday you will have everything you want in whatever manner you wish, and that day will come soon. Loads of good wishes to you and Pari 🙂

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    1. I agree with Visha, but I am not hinting that I am sad or feeling frustrated comparing my life with others. The hurt, the frustration and the overpowering feeling of being a failure on all fronts in life is my own. It is something I cannot fight 24*7 because I too have my moments of weakness, sadness and frustration.
      Thank you dear for the wonderful wishes 🙂

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  2. P

    Firstly – my favourite song! 🙂

    I can understand as you seem to echo my thoughts. I have also had a working mom and m working myself as of now.. and intend to do so forever. But I also love this ‘uncertainty’ that life is surrounded with as the thought of knowing everything in advance is kind of unnerving for me. I love surprises. It is secondary thing that more often than not the surprises are not-so-pleasant 🙂

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    1. Wow! I like the way so many of my fav songs are your favorites too 😀
      I am with you in the belief that life’s unpredictability actually makes life more liveable 🙂

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  3. This post touched my heart in a strange way. Big hugs, ME! Just remember ‘normal’ means different things to different people. I hope you are not subjected to anymore turbulence though.

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    1. I agree normal does mean different things to everyone and in the flow of emotions I missed out on noting this point before using it.
      Hugs Pepper. Thank you for the much needed wishes 🙂

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  4. Hi Era, you are one strong woman and Pari is lucky to be growing under your shade. I love how you put down your thoughts which include the fears, and also the hopes. I had to resign recently to join my husband in the US and I feel so bad to let it go, I too took it for granted, and can’t wait to get back to work.

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  5. hugs Me.. definitely all things will fall in place and you will get back to track soon.. your hope amazes me in many ways.. not to mention you are helping many people who read your blog in one way or the other.. hugs again.. take care

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  6. Someday surely ME, life will get back to its normal course. Or maybe it is moving normally presently also, it is just that sometimes we get too negative to let positive vibes reach us. And future plans and expectations may not always go as we wanted them to, but the best part is that whatever we get (in your case you have Pari and an independent life now) is something we have always sub-consciously desired. So embrace life as it embraces you, irrespective of your reaction towards it 😀

    PS: I know lecture ho gaya thoda 😛
    Take care dear 🙂

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    1. I completely agree with you dauntlessdaisy, but my sane mind is sometimes taken over by my weak, scared with the uncertain future self and thats when such thoughts and posts are written.
      Love your comments dear…keep ’em coming 🙂
      Hugs!

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  7. Why cant my life be normal..I ask myself the same..never found any answer..But now I feel like asking..whats normal? Good things we had before? That means we wont have the good things we have now.
    Ever confusing…but we have is our normal…there is the normal set by the society…just we are not in it…it aint for us.
    Hugs….

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    1. It is confusing and also frustrating at times, but then again we need such trials to be able to sit and analyse what didn’t work for us. These moments of analysis are our fuel breaks to be charged to face life with better focus. So hold on dear, just like me. We will get to our normal soon 😀
      Hugs!

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  8. hmm…..a friend of mine is having similar thoughts, she got diagnosed of a malign tumor- thyroid gland. She has already had one surgery, and is up for second now. i would only say one thing, life till this divorce happened had been good to you, so hang in there, this period would soon get over. as far as job is concerned, i wud suggest, that to get back into workforce, takeup anything which adds to your profile, even if it pays less. Once you start working and have this to show on ur CV, chances are that you will start getting better offers. Right now, you shud focus more on a job of your domain to get back into action.
    All the best from this end!!..cheers….btw i love this song….:)

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    1. I totally understand what you are saying and I am with you in the belief that it is just a matter of getting in the workforce to break the spell of unemployment. Having said that, I have full responsibility of a one year old and being a single parent at this stage I can’t commit to jobs requiring me to work 10-12 hours daily, even on weekends especially when the salary is sub-optimum.
      Sending lots of strength and positive vibes for your friend and prayers for her speedy recovery.
      Thank you forgottogrowup

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  9. I think, as people or working class people, we try to find that balance between a successful professional life and a successful private life. If one increases the other suffers but I have always distinguished between the two – and my method is to understand ‘loyalty’ between the two.

    You must always be loyal to yourself, in doing so, naturally you will be loyal to your family and private life, but when it comes to profession and professional life – how far do you take loyalty as an individual? In my view, you must be a loyal person to your role, your career and to some extend to that personality who either hired you or oversees you – however, never miss the trick to show loyalty to the actual company or organisation that you work for – as the bottom line in all cases is that the company or organisation is there to make money, to be successful and in that does not include individual people like me and you.

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    1. You missed my point completely. It’s not about my apprehensions of working, for I have quite an experience on that front. It’s a matter of the right opportunity in my given circumstances.

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  10. You’ve gone through a lot. I am sure, someday, you will find work that you will be satisfied with. That someday might not be far ahead. Till then enjoy your time at home and see the joy of pari growing up.

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  11. Life is so unpredictable isn’t it? We plan things a certain way and it never really goes to plan. But if we think it’s all doom and gloom then we are probably not going to enjoy the journey with all its ups and downs. Here’s hoping that someday soon, things start looking up for you professionally and you are doing what you want and balancing it with those you love…especially Pari. 🙂 Hugs!

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  12. Hello Friend,

    I just stumbled across your blog. I do not know your name as I have read only a few posts here. You are probably anonymous. That is why I will address you as Friend.

    So friend, from the few posts that I read here, I know you have had a tough time in the past.. But it is good to know that you see these testing times as learning curves for future. All, I want to say is, no matter what happens, always remember that for your parents and Pari, you are always a precious gift that no one can ever replace. So, dont let anything bog you down. Believe in yourself and believe in their (your parents’ and Pari’s ) faith in you and then there is nothing that can stop you.

    All the very best to you.

    Kind regards
    Always Happy

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  13. This hope “Someday” will make everything in your life fall in correct places shortly.. All you will have to do is WAIT!
    With all our prayers and wishes nothing can go wrong anywhere 🙂 Love and Hugs to You and Pari…

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